Third Times a Charm. Sic em "Chavez"

Week 5 was kind to the Matador again, going 5 and 2 with 1 tie. Overall record 11-4-1, better than my fantasy record in any recent year. Week 6 brings return of superman, batman, spiderman, and mighty mouse all in one. TEBONER back on the field, but will "Rage against the dying of the light" take a gamble and put him in the rotation. "What else does he have to lose, "I say". Dignity? Now for the Picks.

Gooners v. Takers
I give up! The gooners pulled off an incomprehensible upset last week. Even though his lineup looked worse than a City of Crescent allstar softball team. The Takers are in a bind this week without Rivers, and Gates still has a hurt "tootsie". Both teams have a better record than they should have. Which causes AD to yell "foul F***ing ball". The Pick is Gooners 92 Takers 72

Bullock Bulls v. Luckepick
Tough loss for the "Bull" last week. reports are that sperm counts all over central oklahoma took a dive after that kick to the "jewels". Bullock faces another opponent this week that has outperformed the roster to this point. Bullock vows to wear a cup this week complete with Tom Brady's face pictured on it. The pick is the Bull 142 Luckeass 92

Rojo v. Hitters
Can I have some? Please? Rojo gets to plow into the Hitters who are on pace to be the lowest scoring team in OFL history, but still manage to be at .500. The matador predicts the beginning of a long slide for the "sucker fish", as the rest of the league looks on enviously at the lucky team that faces the hitters during the bye weeks. The Pick is Rojo 132 Hitters 72

Cow v. Fat Sacks
Julio, Julio, where for art thou Julio. NOT playing this week. Get the hint. Yet Cow still could overcome, that is if Vick limits himself to 3 turnovers and only 3 sacks. Big players have to come up big for Cow, or it could be ugly. Fatty is going to ride Kurt CAMeron, I mean CAMeron Diaz, wait a minute is Cam Newton named for Cameron Texas...it is near Blinndergarten. Tough Pick but the Pick is Fatty 82 Cow 72

0-5 v. 0-4-1
"Two men enter, one man leaves". Or is it "we don't need another hero". As Tina Turner says. Someone is gonna have a win after this week. "whew" Well after last weeks G**D*** tie maybe not. "Despite all my Rage" has some players back from injury and the bad boy from LA decided that Grant was dispensible (HUH...what the H***) C'MON MAN. Hooligans says, "after he was peeing blood, I thought his next stop was "Grant's tomb". The Pick is Raging Woody 102 Hooligans 82

Big Lunch v. 96ers
L. Ron Hubbard surprised me last week by messing in his "panties" and rubbing them in the face of the jersey "Cow". This week he gets a team going in the wrong direction in a hurry....so much so that 69 has become 96. Kurt wants to bring back the Double Tight Wing T, so that he can get the full benefit of his two tight end set. The pick is Big Snack 112 96 problems "but a bitch ain't one" 72

AD v. Long Shlongs
AD has always had a dream to "take on" a long shlong and "beat it" till the finish. He gets his wish this time. But the Shlongs are new and improved Austin back after sex change surgery and Ben gets the JAX. AD says "no way am I going to be 1 and 5" although that was in August. It looks bad for AD this week as well. the Pick is Long Stick 102 AD 92

Chavez v. "Gash"
Could it be that all of the snickering on draft day (Eli in the 3rd, TG in the 4th, and a snatch full of others) was unfounded. So far I am eating "Gash" because of it. But you know what Chavez does to Gash.....he tears into it like Cow into an Arby's sandwhich that's been in the fridge for two weeks. One more win for the hairy "Gash" matches his most wins for a year, Chavez vows not to go down like that.....the pick is chavez 142 Gash nachos 132

Disclaimer Note: This is all in good fun, I hope everyone is enjoying the league. Until next week.... May the Pokes put the "horns" to rest, the Aggies finally beat a ranked team, and Rick and Papa stop dropping starting running backs.